Blessings & Curses

September 30, 2009 Tomorrow will be both a blessing and a curse. It is the long-awaited day of the Light the Night walk for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, a joyous day we have been really looking forward to. But, it is also the first day of the Delayed Intensification treatment phase, a day we have been dreading.

It will be an odd day, but I think it’s awesome that it will end on the up note with the walk at 7:30 at LP Field.

We are still hopeful that Tanner will be able to come, but there are certainly a lot of hurdles to jump. First, her counts will have to be high enough for the doctor to clear her (we’re pretty confident about this as her counts have been high and she did not have chemo last week). Second, if her hemoglobin has gone down and she has to have a transfusion tomorrow, we will be at clinic for so long, we probably wouldn’t make it. Third, she has to feel like coming (and this is where we may find our sticking point).

Tanner’s first day of Delayed Intensification starts with a bang. The whole goal of this phase of treatment is to ferret out and destroy any insidious little leukemia cells that may be hiding, and for that job, they bring in the heavy artillery. Tomorrow, Tanner will have a lumbar puncture with and injection of methotrexate, an IV infusion of Vincristine and an IV infusion of Doxorubicin, a chemo she has never taken. In addition, she starts the dreaded oral steroid, dexamethasone. We’re hoping with a nap in the afternoon, we can bring the wagon and pull her when she gets tired. She really wants to come. So, we’ll see.

We are so honored by those who have chosen to donate to Tanner’s team. It floors us that we have had to raise our goal not once, but 3 times, due to the overwhelming generosity of friends, family and some we have never met. We have currently raised more than $7,200. I cannot find the right words to thank people enough or to explain what this has meant to us… to have something like this to look forward to.

Our friend, Rebecca Little, has a way with words and best summed up the way this event has made us feel. She said we must feel like the guy on the cell phone commercials with the huge network behind him. Only our network is one of love and support! What a perfect analogy! Every donation, every person signed up to walk, every wish for success, has wrapped us in love and support… and tomorrow night we will literally be surrounded by it. I so hope that Tanner can come. She needs to feel what John and I feel, and I think tomorrow night is the kind of night even a six-year-old can understand.

Thank you is not the right word… I just can’t find one that is adequate.

Love,
Beth

This Is How a Cure Happens

September 27, 2009 I’ve been sitting here on the sofa for the last hour writing thank you emails to those who have donated to Tanner’s Light the Night Team. I’m happy to say it’s not the first time I’ve spent time writing thank yous for the event, nor will it be the last, as I am still not finished. I’ve had tears in my eyes for the vast majority of the time I’ve been writing. I can’t believe the generosity of our friends, our family and those we have never even met.

Tanner was so excited when I told her that we had passed our goal. In fact, we haven’t just passed it, we’ve blown right by it in a flurry of generosity that has made me hopeful that someday, no one will have to ever get leukemia. In the past four days, we have raised another $1,000 for a total, as of this writing, of $5,920. I can’t believe it!

This is a how a cure happens… one donation at a time… donations in honor of a little girl who appreciates it so much.

We’re planning our lemonade stand for this week so Tanner can contribute as well. She’s really excited and so hopeful that she’ll be able to walk with us on Thursday. John and I said today it will be a “perfect storm” of circumstances if she is able to come, but we’re still hoping.

We had a wonderful weekend. My parents took on the responsibility of Tanner’s medication (I didn’t realize how complicated it was until I tried to explain it) and kept the kids overnight while John and stayed in downtown Nashville Friday night. We had a great dinner at my favorite restaurant, a good night’s sleep and a leisurely, uninterrupted breakfast before meandering our way home Saturday afternoon. It was wonderful and my parents are awesome. They stayed with us Saturday night and the kids loved getting to see them.

Tanner has had some odd moments of not feeling well and not being able to describe her symptoms that have me worrying about her red counts, but her energy continues to be great, so I’m trying not to worry about it. Poor thing, I keep staring at her face to see if her lips are blue and picking up her hands to look at her fingernails. I’m sure she’s sick of me.

We have some cancer kid friends that need your prayers … Tanner reminded me last night not to forget to pray for Kinsee – an eight-year-old with T-cell ALL who goes to St. Jude on Tuesday to begin preparing for a bone-marrow transplant. She will undergo intensive radiation and chemo treatments until all the cells in her bone marrow have been killed and her white counts are down to 0. Then, they will transplant the donor’s marrow into her bones and see if she recovers. She will be in the hospital for a minimum of 100 days. This is a very dangerous procedure that, Thank God, is not part of Tanner’s treatment plan.

Another eight-year-old you have probably heard me talk about, Lily, has had very low neutraphil counts. Neutraphils are your big, infection-fighting white cells and a normal count level would be from 5-10,000. Lily’s neutraphils last week were at 300. She has had to be pulled out of school until her counts recover, after just having been able to return. Lily has not been feeling well the last two days and has had a low fever. Please pray that her immune system recovers and she does not have an infection or virus.

Thank you so much to everyone who has donated to help stop this disease, or at least find a more humane way of treating it.

We love you,
Beth