Good Riddance 2009

December 3, 2009

I was so happy to write “2010” on a check I wrote yesterday. 2009, for lack of a more literate description, sucked. I don’t want to say this year couldn’t be any worse than last (my realm of possibility has seriously changed), because it, of course, could be. But, I’m hoping things are on the upswing as they seem to be.

Tanner is doing a little better this month on the steroids. We’ve seen some emotional behavior, but they haven’t wiped her out completely like they sometimes do… yet. She’s still taking them through Wednesday morning, so we’ll see. Overall, she is feeling good and we are much encouraged that the doctors felt comfortable with her not returning to clinic for a whole month. That indicates they believe her counts to be pretty stable, something that can usually take many months to achieve. We’ve taken that as a sign that we can comfortably have a little more freedom, which is nice.

We had a very busy weekend focusing on trying to get all the decisions made for the renovations on the new house. It’s fun to have something else to think about, but still, in the back of my mind, I feel like I have to rush, rush, rush because you never know when a hospital trip might pop up. It’s an awful thing to have in the back of your mind, but it’s just the way it is.

Still, it feels for the first time in a long time like our lives are not being held completely hostage by cancer. We’re moving forward, which is the way it should be.

Jake moved forward tonight. He slept in a bed for the first time instead of his crib. We bought him a racecar bed (he LOVES racecars) and he was so excited. It’s easy to forget about the “other child” in this situation. In fact, I forgot to take him to a birthday party on Saturday. I feel terrible. But tonight… he had his moment and he did great.

Have I mentioned that Tanner’s hair is growing back? It started out as this little white peach fuzz, but has since darkened and grown to where she has a soft down covering her entire head. It’s amazing how fast it is coming in. I can’t keep my hands off of her head – she feels like a little downy duckling. She is really hoping it will be brown and curly! It does actually look darker, but there’s no word yet on the curls. See, even her hair is moving forward.

So far, 2010 feels different. It’s not that the dance with cancer is over by any means; I know it will go on for another year and a half and it will be very difficult, but I feel a little lighter on my feet now. I used to wake every morning and my first thought would be, my daughter has leukemia. Now, I sometimes wake up thinking something else – the new house, renovations, getting a new dog – good things.

Here’s to more good things for all of us this year.

Love,
Beth

7 thoughts on “Good Riddance 2009

  1. Yes, it does feel better. 2010 even looks better when it’s written!
    I remember the fuzz on my head – it has shaped up very nicely, thank goodness. It began to curl when there was a little more growth – you will probably get the “chemo hair” (as Papa Mike called it) but every case seems to be different, so “WE’LL SEE!!” WELCOME, 2010!
    E.

  2. JAKE, THAT CAR IS YOU!! LOOKS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO SLEEP . . .AND PLAY! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IT – AND YOU!
    A NEW CAR – WOW!!!

  3. Jake, you’re such a little man! What an awesome bed! Beth, this is such good news, all around. I know it must be hard to breathe, if you know what I mean, but it truly does sound like cancer has loosened its grip on your family and your life. Still there, of course…but enjoy the breathing room!

  4. GOOD THING THEY DON’T MAKE A BIG CAR BED LIKE THAT OR JOHN MIGHT WANT ONE TOO. BETTER NOT SHOW THIS TO TRAVIS EITHER.

  5. Yes, 2009 sucked! It was a tough year. I’m glad to put it in the boo ks and start a new one. My family had 8 funerals in 2009.

    Keith wants to know if Jake flips into his racecar bed like he did his crib? lol

    Hope to see y’all soon.

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