Eerily Normal

zoo 09August 31, 2009 The other night, I said to John, “It’s almost like you could forget there’s anything wrong with her.”

Things have been so normal. She feels really good, has great energy, and has really leveled out emotionally. We’re so grateful. It’s more than we ever hoped for at this point.

She had a dance lesson Friday, which she loved. Played with a friend all afternoon. We went to the zoo Sunday morning before everyone else got there. It was cool and empty and wonderful. She played soccer and ran around a field with friends yesterday afternoon. She’s a little slow and a little awkward when she runs, but she runs, which didn’t seem possible just two months ago when she could barely walk.

John’s reply to my pointing out how pleasantly surprised I am by Tanner’s well-being was that it seemed, “Eerily normal.”

That may seem an odd comment for a situation we are so thankful for, but it struck just right for me.

It seems normal if you could forget about the medicine 3-5 times a day, or her pale skin or her thinning hair. The frequent stomach aches and nausea. The fact that she goes to the bathroom 25 or so times a day or that she wakes up 3-4 times a night.

I think it seems an eerie normal because we don’t trust it. We feel certain it won’t last and behind it lurks the constant worry that any small fever or illness could send her to the hospital immediately.

Today is a good example. After feeling so great yesterday, she woke this morning with a sore throat and joint pain in her legs and feet. I’ve had to help her to the bathroom all morning and I can‘t tell whether the sore throat is from emerging mouth sores or is an infection. See. Eerily normal.

But, overall, we are grateful beyond belief that she is as able as she is. It is so much more than we ever hoped for when we began this journey three months ago.


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