August 11, 2009 Such a nice, relaxing day hanging out with my girl. I think she may have been a little tired from all that running we did yesterday, so we just kind of took it easy today. Went to the grocery store, ate lunch, showed up at the play therapists on the wrong day (oops!) and went to the movies.

The afternoon movie on a school day may become a staple for Tanner and I this fall. It was so nice — only two other people in the whole theatre. We went to see Up! in 3-D. It was a great movie.

I’m glad we took it easy today. Tanner definitely had some moments of not feeling well, although overall, she is taking this round well so far. I noticed today she seemed a little slow going up the stairs and sometimes didn’t alternate her legs on the steps, so I’m afraid the dreaded Vincristine may be making itself known. Hopefully, though, she was just tired. I’m also afraid that she may be developing the mouth sores that plague some people on chemo. She’s been complaining of burning in her mouth when she eats and drinks. It’s a side-effect we saw from the Vincristine during Induction, but it seems worse this time. In fact, she ate no dinner tonight at all because she said it hurt her mouth and she really balks at medicine time now, since that hurts as well. Ugggghhhh. Have I mentioned how unfair this seems?

One more girls day tomorrow and I may have to ask my parents to give Jake back on Thursday. Tanner and I miss him. It’s so quiet and Tanner keeps wanting someone to play with. He’s having a ball, though. He got to go to the golf course with my parents today. Mom said he hit about 50 balls on the driving range and then went back later and hit about 20 more. You have no idea how excited this makes my parents after enduring 3 granddaughters with no interest whatsoever in golf!

I’m enjoying this time with Tanner, though. I think when Jake goes back to school later this month, we’ll have Mommy/Daughter day once a week. Some recent blog entries I have read about kids with ALL who have died during long-term maintenance after developing an infection have really gotten to me. I think I always believed that getting to Long Term Maintenance is our goal and then we coast through the rest. First, the chemo road map we received for Tanner made me realize LTM is no picnic; there is still a lot of chemo during those remaining 1 ¾ years of treatment. Then, hearing about these kids who have died because the chemo has weakened their bodies’ ability to fight infection during Long Term Maintenance have really made me realize that there is no “coasting” during this process. This is really 2 ½ years of treatment; all of it exhausting and painful, all of it as dangerous as it is life-saving.

So, these days, I’m trying to hold Tanner a little tighter, kiss her a little more often, stop cleaning and start playing.

Hug your kids. Tell them that you love them. Take nothing for granted.

Love,
Beth