Well, it was shaping up to be such a good week, but Tanner came down with a low fever this morning that crept up to the dreaded 100.4. Once it hits 100.4, we have to come to the hospital to be checked out. We thought we were going to make it into the clinic, but with traffic, didn’t make it in time and had to come in the the ER. They did some bloodwork and her counts look good, and normally they would have done some IV antibiotics and let us go home provided we come back to the clinic tomorrow for a follow-up. Since it’s a holiday tomorrow and the clinic is closed, we are having to stay overnight so they can do bloodwork tomorrow and just keep and eye on her. Unfortunately, the hospital is full, so it looks like we’re stuck in the ER for the night. It’s noisy in the ER and no one sleeps very well here. It’s 10:30 and Tanner has still not been able to go to sleep due to all the interruptions and some pain. No nap today, either. I’ll be “sleeping” sitting up in a rocking chair. Lovely.

I’m a little glad we’re staying, though. She’s having more leg pain than normal and odd hot and cold flashes even though her fever is down. Better here than at home where all of this would be freaking me out.

The reality of this disease never ceases to amaze me. We were planning an afternoon swim at the Whitlers today and Tanner was so much more vibrant today. Even while she had a fever, we sat at the kitchen table and painted suncatchers, a project from VBS, which we missed, but a friend was nice enough to bring the crafts by. Just makes you feel like everything could go wrong at any moment. I’ve never been a worrier, but by the end of this I may be.

Did I mention that Jake and I have had colds and that’s probably why she has this fever? Imagine feeling like the smallest sniffle you have could be deadly for your child. I’ve hand sanitized myself to death, gone to the minute clinic and begged antibiotics out of them so I would get better quicker and even worn a mask around her at my worst. But, I’m learning that even when her counts are good, she still doesn’t have even close to the immune system you or I would have.

Thank God my Mom was in town so I could leave the house quickly without worrying about Jake. I keep thinking I can do this by myself, but I can’t.

Anyway, I’m rambling now and Tanner’s pain is increasing. I’ve had them call her oncology team because something weird is going on… my Mommy radar is going off. I’m going to see if they can get her some stronger pain meds.

Will update in the morning.

Beth