August 24, 2009 We’re praying for restful sleep tonight for Tanner. She has not slept well for the past four nights or so and it seems to be catching up to her. She keeps waking up, agitated, crying, freezing, burning up, etc. She can’t tell you what’s wrong; she’s usually half asleep and won’t talk to me at all. You would think she has a fever, but she doesn’t. I can’t help but think it’s her body reacting to the poison that is chemo. So, tonight, although I’m not sure it’s the kosher thing to do, we’ve decided to give her painkiller if she wakes up. I think, at this point, sleep is the most important thing.

She has had a cough, but no fever, the last two days. We’re hoping that her immune system will continue to fight off whatever this cough is and we won’t end up in the hospital again.

Having said that, she still feels so much better than we ever though she would at this stage of the game. She is able to do so much more and has so much more energy than we ever dreamed she would. We saw some friends this morning at Pinkerton Park who commented on how great she looks and seems to feel. We are blessed that she has kept her hair thus far and has not had low red blood counts, which cause fatigue, headaches and shortness of breath. The low white counts don’t make her feel bad, just make her susceptible to infection.

Tomorrow is Jake’s open house for preschool. We’ll meet his teacher for the first time and have a chance to explain to the other parents the importance of keeping us informed about any illnesses Jake may be exposed to and bring home to Tanner. If this season turns out to be the crazy flu season everyone expects it to be, we may have to pull Jake out of school temporarily to minimize her exposure. Hopefully, not, though. The little man loves him some school!

Tanner will go to the neighbor’s house tomorrow to play with Corinne’s sister, Laurel. She loves to “Mommy” her. Thursday, Jake starts school for real and Tanner and I will head back to the clinic to try again with the methotrexate, as long as her counts are high enough. Hopefully, they are. As much as you would like to avoid the chemo, it’s obviously important that she gets it. She will receive this chemo again by mouth for 2 years of long term maintenance, so being ultra sensitive to it could be a problem.

We’re still riding bikes, still having picnics, still playing on the playgrounds, still swimming, still learning, still laughing and still living life. We’re not having bad days too often any more, just some bad moments among good days. It’s a different life, but still a really great one.

Love,
Beth