We’ll See What Happens Tomorrow

October 4, 2009 We’re just sick and tired… or at least I am. Tanner woke up Friday morning still pretty sick and slept for several hours mid-morning while my good friend Shelley took Jake to McDonalds with her little boy to play. By afternoon, though, Tanner was feeling a little better and by evening, it seemed like the worst of the nausea was finally at bay. Saturday morning she woke up feeling good and John took she and Jake bike riding in the morning. In the afternoon, we played on the school playground next to our neighborhood and I was impressed by how far she ran across the field and how much energy she seemed to have. But, she and I both began to cough Saturday afternoon. By Saturday night, both of us were hoarse and coughing quite a bit.

So, all day today, no one got out of their jammies. We played on computers, watched TV, painted our faces and generally took it easy. Tanner had a low fever in the 99s this afternoon and we started getting ourselves ready for a trip to the ER. But, her temperature had returned to normal by bedtime. So, we’ll keep an eye on her and hope for the best.

I can tell you that I had no energy at all today and felt pretty bad. So, I’m assuming she felt the same, but you would never know it. I kept telling John I was going to be pretty embarrassed if a kid with leukemia on tons of chemo kicked a cold that I couldn’t kick, but it may be true! She definitely had more energy than I did today.

We’ve been waiting for the steroids to rear their ugly head, but so far, so good. She’s had three full days and I suspect by tomorrow, we’ll start seeing some effect. For now, though, she’s been very good humored and isn’t eating a ton either.

So, tomorrow is a dreaded day… Peg shot day. I will be interested to see if they even give her the shots considering she obviously has some kind of virus. Even though I dread the shots, I just want to get them over with. I just get sick every time I think of it. It’s one of those moments when I feel like I am lying to her by not telling her about them, and even though I know it makes it easier for, I feel rotten about it. I just will never forget her looking at me and asking, “Why did you let them do that to me?” the last time we had these shots. Hopefully, the anti-anxiety drug we will give her beforehand will make it easier.

I’m not really sure how the chemo given through these shots will affect her. The side effects listed in my childhood leukemia book are numerous, but she was so sick from the leukemia last time she had these shots, you couldn’t tell what came from what. She goes back again on Thursday to receive Vincristine and the Doxirubicin that made her so sick last week. Needless to say, I think this is going to be a very tough month.
So, we need some positive mojo, here… prayers, well wishes, good karma in the universe… all these things. Hopefully, no fever by morning and the Peg shots go as well as possible.


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