September 16, 2011
I was worried that Tanner would have a really hard time today at clinic since it was the first clinic visit since she had her port removed. That means she had to have needle stick in her arm to get blood drawn. We numbed up both inner elbows with EMLA cream before we went and they looked pretty numb by the time we got there. She panicked a little bit at the last minute, but was very brave and toughed it out. I was proud of her. I think it will go even better next time.
Now, for the exciting part… her neutraphils were at 3,300! Woot! Woot! Haven’t seen those kind of numbers in a while! When I look at her lab results online, it is so gratifying to see her red (abnormal) numbers disappearing little by little. More and more black (normal) counts show up every time.
Clinic day continues to be a difficult day for us. I wish it were different; but it’s just not. The doctor was talking about survivorship clinic and mentioned that eventually, we would stop seeing her and just go to the survivorship clinic once a year for the rest of her life. Tanner was playing with Mr. Potatohead and suddenly sat up and said, “The rest of my life?!!! Are you kidding me?”
When we told her no, she curled up in my lap and cried. She just wants so badly to walk away and never look back. I can empathize.