1 Day to Domino

June 22, 2010

Tomorrow is Domino Day… long awaited and much anticipated. Tanner was so excited, she couldn’t go to sleep tonight (the steroids didn’t help, either!) and I find myself in the same position. We’ve been on a 10-day countdown on the chalkboard in the kitchen, and today the kids and I washed down our dog crate to get ready for the big day. John and I will go to the prison tomorrow to meet the inmates that trained Domino and bring him home. The kids made thank you notes for them today. Jake put Star Wars stickers all over them and Tanner made cut out stars. We hope they will let the inmates have them so they can remember what a good thing they have done for a little girl with leukemia and her family.

The kids have been at Vacation Bible School for the past few days. They are having such a good time. I’ve helped with crafts those two days as well and really had fun. Tomorrow is water fun day at VBS, so they are going to have a double-great day, between that and the dog.

We had a great weekend, too. Tanner has been on steroids and feeling some of the effects of the Vincristine, but she accepts it so well now and we know to just move on and it will get better. She can’t really take the heat (and it’s HOT here!) so water activities or indoor activities are the best bet. Saturday, when I came back from running errands, John, Tanner, Jake and four neighborhood kids were in the backyard on our new playground sliding down the slide into the baby pool at the bottom. They were having too much fun! It’s the simple things, right?

Sunday, we gave John a day off for Father’s Day… no simple task, I promise you. I had to practically run my poor workaholic husband out of the house for some much needed R&R. While he was gone, the kids and I went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for seafood gumbo, his favorite food. He came back at dinner time to posters on the door, made by the kids, a balloon, cards and gumbo. Happy man.

I have to tell you about something that happened on Friday that strengthened my belief in Tanner’s vast resolve and determination. She had chemo, if you remember, on Thursday at clinic – Vincristine through her port. Then, Thursday night’s medication concoction – 6mp (chemo), methotrexate (chemo), neurontin (for neuropathy), mepron (antibiotic to prevent pneumonia), amoxicillin (antibiotic for strep throat), Claritin (for allergies), dexamethasone (steroids), pepsid and zofran (for nausea). Good grief! I expected her to be down for the count on Friday. She woke up a little groggy, but after running some errands in the morning, we headed to the YMCA pool for a swim. We got there and Tanner decided she wanted to take the swim test that would allow her to go down the slides and climb the rock wall.

“Today?” I said. “Why don’t we do it another day?”

“No, I want to do it now,” she said.

The lifeguard showed her what she had to do and my chemo-ridden child jumped in the pool and swam the length without stopping or touching the bottom and pulled herself out on the side. The lifeguard and Jake and I cheered her on from the side, following her as she swam down the pool. She looked, at the end, as if she might give up, but stuck it out. I couldn’t have been prouder. I looked at the lifeguard with disbelief and said, “She has cancer and had a boatload of chemo yesterday.” He bent down and told her “Way to go!”

We were putting on sunscreen later and I told her how proud of her I was. Of course, I teared up. Tanner’s response… “Thank goodness you didn’t do that in front of the lifeguard.” Cue eye rolling.

So, we’ve had fun despite the low counts and the steroids and chemo. It beats the alternative, right?

On a more sobering note, please pray for the family (including the twin) of a little girl named Ellie, whose poor cancer-ravaged lungs will not last much longer. Her mother, just days ago, was blogging how she was not ready to give up on a miracle and was still encouraging Ellie to fight. Today, I read where this same mother has not only had to accept the inevitable for her daughter, but has courageously swallowed her own grief to try to help her daughter accept her fate as well. Imagine trying to assure an 8-year-old that it is all right to die now. Cancer is heartless.

Love,
Beth

The Drama Queen

June 9, 2010

Jake and I picked Tanner up Monday afternoon from her first day of theater camp to find the most fired up 6-year-old you have ever seen. She was singing her newly learned songs to me before we even got into the car, glancing at her lyrics notebook to remind herself of the words. She was, in a word, aglow.

I told John that I night that I believe I had witnessed Tanner find her place in the world that day. All of her unbridled and emotional enthusiasm fit right into the world of song and dance, and I believe I will be driving her to play rehearsals for the next decade or so.

She is really proud of herself for getting a solo that she had to audition for and win from some other kids her age. She is singing “I hope I get it” from A Chorus Line. It is pretty hilarious to watch a very earnest, almost-seven-year-old sing, “I really need this job; I hope I get this job.”

She’s in camp all this week with a performance on Friday. She cannot wait for that performance. She keeps asking me how many days until Friday. It will be interesting to see if she gets stage fright.

Tomorrow, Jake, E. (John’s Mom) and I will pick her up from camp and head to the hospital for a counts check. They want to be sure the newly upped methotrexate dose isn’t making her counts drop more than they want it to. I’m terrified that her counts will have tanked and she won’t be able to do the show on Friday. It would be, to say the least, devastating. So, please pray, light candles, send up positive karma into the universe. She wants this so badly.

We’re also counting down the days to Domino, who is coming to his new forever home on June 23. We have his new bed all ready in the living room, filled with toys, chews, and a collar and leash. We’ve had so much fun getting ready for him to join the family. Cancer took our sweet border collie from us last year, and cancer kept us from getting a new dog for the nine months since then. But, now, we’re almost finished waiting to get back what cancer took, and we are giddy with excitement.

Good counts, good counts, good counts… there isn’t enough money in the world for the therapy she will need if she doesn’t get to sing and dance her little heart out on Friday.

Love,
Beth

We Made It!!!!

May 10, 2010

Our drive went well and we arrived yesterday at 6pm in Give Kids the World Village, the resort just for Wish kids. It is truly a magic place. There are probably 50-75 wish kids here with their families and 8,000 volunteers work together with a small staff to make every moment special for these kids who have been through so much.

Just a few highlights:

• The present fairy comes every day and leaves gifts for the kids. Today we got a special Give Kids the World Village Candyland game.

• The characters from three theme parks come here so the kids get more undivided attention. This morning – Goofy, Pluto, Mary Poppins, and Mickey and Minnie.

• The Mayor of Give Kids the World Village is a large rabbit and he and his wife, Ms. Merry are here every night. Tanner rode the carousel with Ms. Merry two times tonight and is so smitten with her. We will call tomorrow to arrange for Ms. Merry to tuck Tanner and Jake into bed one night this week.

Tanner and her new friend, Ms. Merry

• There is a putt-putt golf course, splash park, train, playground, magic castle, theatre, etc., etc., etc. All right here at our beck and call.

• There is an activity every night. Last night, there was a Candyland party on the playground with a DJ and Tanner danced the night away while Jake played on the playground. We even played a giant game of Candyland. Tonight, there were therapy dogs to pet, a Kinkachu and an armadillo to see, a man with a telescope showing you the sun and a party that we didn’t attend because everyone was tired.

• All of our meals are free here and there is ice cream all day long. We had ice cream right after breakfast this morning!

• Tanner had her nails and makeup done at La Ti Da spa and she and Jake both got airbrush tattoos. Again, all done by volunteers.

• The list goes on an on, I can’t say enough about these amazing people and how fun it is here in the Village before we even get to a theme park.

We went to Sea World today and saw the Shamu show and rode some rides. Everyone had a great time. Tomorrow, we’re heading to Magic Kingdom tomorrow to see the Princesses, Lightening McQueen and Mickey Mouse.

So, here’s the only downer… Tanner is still coughing… and coughing… and coughing. It definitely seems worse and it took her a very long time last night and tonight to get to sleep because of the coughing. But still, no fever, which is what they told us to look for. So, we don’t know anything else to do but keep going… carefully. We are trying not to wear her out and forcing her to take naps to try to avoid worsening her immune system with fatigue. She has had a coughing virus before that she got over without incident, so we’re hoping that’s what it is. We’re going to Magic Kingdom tomorrow because we’re terrified we’re going to end up in the hospital and that’s the theme park we would most want to go to if tomorrow is our last day. So, pray for healing for her.

That’s about it. Good night!

Love,
Beth

We Need a Miracle

May 7, 2010

Today, Tanner woke up with a nasty cough… two days before our Disney trip… seriously.

I can’t tell you how this is affecting all of us. John and I are worried to distraction. It will be a serious blow if we even have to postpone this trip. I’ve called clinic to see if there is anything we can do, but feel pretty sure they’re going to say, “Wait and see.”

We’re going to watch movies and play wii and rest all day… maybe it will fade. Doesn’t sound like allergies, but maybe, just maybe… Anything, we’ll take anything. We’re desperate.

We went to clinic yesterday for counts and they were perfect for this stage – 1200. Of course, we would have preferred to go to Disney with the higher counts we had two weeks ago (2,100), but the doctors feel good about these counts. The higher dose of 6 MP obviously did it’s job.

We need a miracle. Please let whoever’s in charge of those know that you agree.

Love,
Beth

Happy on the Outside

April 20, 2010

Tanner at the party

Somehow six days have slipped by again without a post. Let me catch you up: Tanner did get to go to her birthday party at Jump Zone – she had a blast and I wasn’t the only Mom handing out the hand sanitizer. The Dalmatian passed the child-worthy test with flying colors and now we’re trying to work out going to the prison to visit him. If all goes well, we’ll put dibs on him and wait until he finishes training in June! Tanner is feeling well, although she seems a little tired and has had some headaches. John and I got to go on a date on Sunday night for the first time in months. We went to see a movie at the Nashville Film Festival produced by our next-door neighbor. Went to church on Sunday (Jake entertained the church during the children’s sermon by showing another child the inside of his nose…) and then had lunch at the home of some good friends. It was a great day.

Tanner dancing after the party... love the shoes

We got a package from Give Kids the World Village today. That’s the resort for wish kids at Disney where we will be staying. It was so exciting to see all that we will be doing. We get three Disney passes, two Universal theme park passes and one Sea World pass. Not to mention how awesome the Village is itself – putt-putt, horseback riding, a train ride, present fairies, ice cream all day, La Ti Da spa, etc., etc., etc. All the characters from Disney, Universal and Nickelodeon come to the Village to visit with the kids. If Jake sees spider man in real life, he may pass out. If only iCarly would show up… Tanner would need nothing else. I’m hoping this trip will suspend reality for us for a while. We could all use a break from that.

So life is good… why is my child so mad? Tanner is struggling with something that is resulting in massive temper tantrums. Her therapist thinks it is anxiety from the newness of school. That sometimes even really good things can be overwhelming. I think Tanner also tends to push until she is more than exhausted, which doesn’t help. Suffice it to say, I’ve received the brunt of Tanner’s anger and it’s exhausting for all of us. Poor Jake doesn’t understand what he has done wrong to make his sister suddenly turn on him. It’s frustrating to finally be at this good place and see her struggle so mightily with something. It’s like the emotion is too much for her, even though the emotion is happiness. Please pray that I keep my patience and that Tanner finds some peace and is able to fully enjoy this time.

It’s tough to know how to slow Tanner down… how to know when she’s had enough, even if she doesn’t think so. She called today from school with a tummy ache. When I got there with medicine, she was lying down on a bean bag chair while the rest of the class sat at their desks. She looked pretty miserable and I just decided maybe she should come home. She didn’t want to, but I felt the rest might be the best idea. She didn’t stay down long when we got home. After picking up Jake, she wanted to go for a walk. I took the wagon so she didn’t get tired, but on the way home, it looked like we had done too much. Then, the meltdown came over something small and stupid (isn’t that how they always happen?). And, she ended up losing some pretty fun stuff because she couldn’t get hold of herself. It’s just a no-win for everyone and I wish I had a rule book to follow. You know, the rule book for kids who have cancer and who have just returned to school and seem happy, but keep having meltdowns. Anybody seen that one at the book store? Online? Guess I’ll have an extra call with Allison. Sigh.

Thursday is her monthly clinic day. Vincristine through her port and the start of another five-day pulse of steroids (that ought to help the meltdowns, eh?). I’m hoping that if the docs want to raise her chemo they’ll let us wait until after Disney. It would be a huge disappointment to have to postpone the trip due to low counts. I’ve tried not to be specific with the kids about when we’re going just in case.

Hoping for a tantrum-free tomorrow…

Love,
Beth

What is normal, anyway?

April 14, 2010

This may have been the longest I’ve gone without posting since Tanner has been diagnosed… 6 days. It’s weird, but things are so normal I feel like don’t really have much to say. Tanner feels really good and looks really good and, mostly, seems like every other kid.

Then, there are moments when I see our life from an objective viewpoint and it hits me that none of this is really normal… it’s just what we’re used to.

For example, last Thursday night, John was preparing Tanner’s nighttime meds and said, “Good grief, am I right with all this she is taking?” He was staring at our medication spreadsheet, taped to the inside of entire double-wide kitchen cabinet dedicated to medicine, mostly Tanner’s. I usually update the spreadsheet about every 2 weeks, after clinic, to be sure we’re current on everything she takes (really, it’s that confusing), but I’ve been kind of slacking lately with the move and all, and he wasn’t sure what he was seeing was correct. I assured him it was. Thursday night sucks. She takes ½ 6MP pill (daily oral chemo), 5 methotrexate pills (weekly oral chemo), 2 neurontin capsules (for neurapathy due to the Vincristine), mepron (a daily antibiotic that prevents a dangerous type of pneumonia), omnicef (antibiotic for the urinary tract infection), claritin (for allergies), pepsid (for the stomach problems that all these meds cause), and zofran (anti-nausea med to prevent the nausea that the methotrexate usually causes overnight). As you can see, nothing normal about a 6-year-old taking all this, and that’s just her nighttime meds.

Today, I spent hours on the unfortunate task of trying to untangle the last month’s medical bills. All of our deductibles have rolled over, so I’m forced to pay close attention to the bills again to be sure we are paying the correct amount. It’s a nightmare matching up the EOB’s from the insurance company and the bills from doctors and the hospital. In the stack, I came across an old bill that had not yet been filed. It was from one clinic day back in the early November – the dreaded first day of the second half of delayed intensification. We stayed at the hospital from 8 am to 6 pm that day, getting every kind of chemo but the kitchen sink. The bill was a testament to the fortitude of my child, to her desire to thrive and survive. Three pages of chemo, listed on line after line. It reminded me how much Tanner’s body has already endured and worried me about how it will effect her long-term.

Tanner came home yesterday SO excited about a birthday party invitation from a little girl in her class. It is at Jump Zone; and we have not allowed Tanner to go there since diagnosis. She was so hopeful, but also was aware that she might not be able to go. I could see on her face how important it was to her… how desperately she wanted, needed to feel normal… to just go to a birthday party like the other kids. I told her I would have to talk to John that night, as he is out of town. That night, we decided that she could go as long as I stayed and applied some hand sanitizer every once in a while. Tanner was thrilled and accepted our stipulation. She was so funny, though. She said, “Dad’s not coming though, right? Just you? Cause Dad will be so crazy with the hand sanitizer.” I laughed and laughed. She’s exactly right. It will be much less embarrassing if germ-a-phobe Dad stays home (love you honey!). So, we’re so happy she’ll be able to go, but there’s nothing totally normal about your Mom lurking in the shadows with hand sanitizer.

So, it’s not really normal, but it’s cancer normal. And, for cancer world, she’s probably about as normal as possible right now. We’re planning for summer camps and our trip to Disney and the Spring Fling at school. We’re grateful and it’s a relief to not feel like we’re in crisis mode, even if it always seems one fever away. I see things ahead that don’t involve hospitals and isolation, but are just normal things that kids and families do. It’s not normal by most people’s standards, but we’ll take it.

We received some awesome news this week… we can get another dog!!! Yay!!! I don’t know who is more excited, me or the kids. We’ve picked out a dalmatian mix from McMuttigan’s rescue in Kentucky. The trainers are child-testing the dog this week and will let us know if they believe he will be a good candidate for us. He is in a three-month training program in a Kentucky prison and will be trained especially for us, by prisoners, by the time we get him in June. We will also know he has been thoroughly vetted over the past three months, so he should be safe for Tanner. So, cross your fingers that he is bomb-proof; we already feel attached to him. If you’re in the market for a dog, consider this program… it’s such a win-win for everyone. The last time we almost got a dog from this program, the prisoners were pouring extra love into the dog we had picked out so their “little angel” would get the best dog possible. Blessings come from the most unusual sources sometimes.

Sorry for the long post… guess I had something to say after all!

Good night,
Beth

Heavy

March 29, 2010

It’s steroid week… always a blast. Tanner is handling it really well, but it just stinks and that’s all there is to it. She is also feeling the effects of her monthly dose of Vincristine. She is having a hard time with her mouth burning every time she eats or drinks anything. I think this is a precursor to mouth sores, but Tanner usually doesn’t actually get the sores and the feeling passes in a few days. This time, however, it’s lasting longer so we’re loading up on the glutamine to try to prevent them from turning into sores. It’s particularly frustrating to her considering the steroids make her really hungry – talk about a catch 22.

She’s actually been pretty active this weekend, though. The good weather, combined with the lure of the kids playing in our cul-de-sac, outweighed the steroid apathy many times this weekend. We flew kites, played baseball, rode bikes and jumped rope. She even made it to school for a couple of hours today and to the play therapist’s for a much-needed anxiety download.

I’ve been a little burdened the last couple of days. The little girl I’ve been writing about, Samantha Abbott, died yesterday morning. She was 7 and such a cute little girl. She was in tremendous pain in the last weeks of her life and her organs finally shut down and gave up. Too much for a child to have to bear and for her parents to have to come to grips with. Just unfathomable.

In addition, I heard through the childhood cancer grapevine about another Vandy patient, a 14-year-old girl, who was just sent home with hospice care. She was given six months at the very best, but has since taken a turn for the worse and it will likely only be days instead of months.

These stories both sadden me and terrify me. They eat at the edges of my hope and deflate my confidence.

As John showed me the text message Sunday morning that Samantha had passed away, we just stared at each other for a moment, eyes wet. It was a three-second moment, but I knew exactly what he was thinking. Then, we choked it down wordlessly and moved on.

What else can you do?

Beth

Clinic Day #30… A Sigh of Relief

March 23, 2010

Every parent of a child with leukemia lives and dies by blood counts. We wait, tensely, for counts to come back after blood draw. We search the doctor’s face for a sign that counts are good or bad. Will they mean freedom or isolation? Will they mean a blood transfusion? Will they show something worse, something unimaginable?

Today, Tanner’s counts were perfect… in leukemia world, that is. Her neutraphils (big infection fighting white cells) were at 1300 (they want her between 1000 and 1500). Her hemoglobin was 11.2, which means that, for the first time in a long time, Tanner is not anemic.

Dr. Mixan and I agreed that she is probably suffering from allergies, not a cold. So, with no further ado, she got her chemo and I took her to school for the rest of the afternoon. Then, she had a playdate with some friends at our house.

She’ll go to school again tomorrow in the early morning, but I’ll take her out for an hour or so to go see the play therapist. I asked Tanner if she thought she needed to go see Allison and she said, “Yes, Mom.” There have been a lot of adjustments lately with the house and starting school. They are good things, but they are new nevertheless, and probably a little overwhelming at times. A playdate with Ms. Allison is the best medicine for Tanner’s anxiety.

Please continue to pray for Samantha Abbott – the cutest little girl who just went through a bone marrow transplant and has battled kidney failure successfully only to come down with a very serious blood infection. The medication to cure this infection is very hard on the kidneys, so it has presented a dilemma for the doctors.

Every time I think we have it bad, there is always someone who has it worse.

Love,
Beth

School Days

March 16, 2010

Tanner will go to her fourth day of school tomorrow. It really, really seems too good to be true. She is so, so happy to be going and has adapted beautifully. Her teacher told me that on Friday, her first day, whenever she would look out at the class, there would be one child just beaming every time… guess who? We are so grateful to the kids and staff at Moore Elementary for making Tanner’s homecoming so special and for nurturing her with such love and compassion.

Friday and Monday she stayed at school until 1 pm. Friday she begged to stay. Monday she had the teacher call me to come get her… she was too tired to stay. But, today, I thought I would let her try to stay until 2 pm. I went to get her at 2 on my way to pick up Jake at preschool and she was in the gym skipping with one of those things that straps around your ankle and you jump over the rope with the ball at the end. She begged to stay and said, “See, I have aaallllll my energy!” And she did. So, I left her and came back for her at the end of the day expecting her to be exhausted but she wasn’t. After playing some wii with Jake, we went outside for some scooter and bike riding with the neighbors. Crazy.

So, I had my first real day off from Momming in nine months today. It felt great. John gives me lots of time on the weekends to recharge away from the kids, and my friend Beth is awesome about staying with them, too. But I always feel a little beholden. Not so when I drop the kids off at school. Everyone’s happy and I’m paying for them to be there so, no guilt… bliss.

I would love to say I did something decadent like had a massage or something, but I went to Big Lots for some organizing supplies and then unpacked and organized our bathroom stuff. So glamorous. But, you know what? I was uninterrupted and watched HGTV the whole time and ate my lunch by myself, so it was fabulous.

Did I mention we moved this weekend? We did. It went pretty well, although Tanner did not handle it very well. I think kids in her situation carry such a high level of anxiety to begin with that any little thing can put them right over the edge. She had very mixed feelings about moving. She is really sad not to be across the street from Corinne and worried that they won’t be friends anymore. But, despite what she says, I think she loves the new house. Bottom line, though, moving can unsettle any kid, much less one who has a lot of reasons to be afraid of what’s around the corner.

Tanner being anxious about something translates into some pretty supernanny-worthy behavior. I was in total agony when I called the play therapist to schedule an intervention and found she was out of town for the week. I am sure she heard the desperation in my voice when I left her a message.

Many thanks to my parents for helping out so much this weekend. My Dad hung and fixed many, many things while my Mom was her usual whirling dervish and ran circles around me packing and unpacking. They stuck it out even though Tanner was a nightmare and I appreciate it more than they will ever know.

Even Jake was a little whiny and ornery although mostly he just likes to tell everyone how much he loves his racecar room. He “wuvs” the new house and calls it our “new home.” God knew what he was doing when he gave me this child. He is like a balm for what ails me. Even though he is only three, he plays a huge role in helping me get through this experience. He recharges me daily with his sweetness and light.

This new house is such a blessing for us. It feels like a shoe that fits just right. I love everything about it (with the exception of my laundry room, which is really a laundry closet) starting with the cul-de-sac that we live on, which is the perfect place to ride a bike, the neighbors who have been so kind, and the view of the creek and trees out the wall of windows in our living room.

I’m off to bed in Tanner’s room. Leukemia has turned her into a chronic sleep walker and we are terrified she’ll make a wrong turn in this new environment and fall down the stairs. Until I feel comfortable that she has the lay of the land embedded into her subconscious, I’m bunking it in the twin beds.

Before I sleep I’ll be saying prayers for some kids that need them. Madelynn, our little 3-year-old friend and neighbor who has ALL is going through Delayed Intensification and is having a very hard time with nausea and stomach pain. She is three and can’t articulate her pain to her parents. Please pray the pain subsides and that her parents, Amy and Alex have the strength it takes to watch your child suffer so cruelly.

Also, a little boy named Cole has the same type of leukemia and treatment plan as Tanner, Lily and Madelynn and recently had a CNS relapse. He has caught a cold that turned into fungal pneumonia and is not responding well to treatment. Please pray that the doctors find the right medication to help him make it through this. So terrifying… this child was in maintenance and doing well. Just reminds me how fragile Tanner is even when she looks and feels great.

One more… Samantha who just had a bone marrow transplant and is in the midst of the worst of the side effects.

Too many kids suffering…

Love,
Beth

Clinic Day #28

Ahhhh… Good Counts

February 24, 2010

Yay! Tanner’s counts were 3,100!!!! Hallelujah! Now, maybe they’re high enough to fight off the virus that Jake has which is causing fever and coughing.

John took Tanner to clinic today, while I took Jake to the pediatrician’s office. It can’t ever just be good news, huh? Jake has a virus and the trick will be keeping Tanner from getting it. Her counts are high enough that she might escape, but we will be extra vigilant for the next few days.

Spoke to John just a moment ago; Tanner was out of surgery for her spinal with methotrexate and was in the recovery room sleeping it off. They’ve planned on a run to Chili’s to pick up lunch. She hasn’t eaten since 2:30 am this morning; we woke her for peanut butter and jelly.

She will restart her oral chemo at 50% dosage and we return in two weeks for a counts check to see if her counts are still high. If they are, they will raise her chemo dosage to try to get her to stay within the 1-2,000 range they are looking for. If they have come down some, that may become her permanent dosage. It’s the Long Term Maintenance Dance where they try to find the correct dosage to suppress white counts enough, but not too much.

John and I laughed about my bad luck. I didn’t go to clinic with them, where normally, we have to hold down Tanner to get her “sleepy milk” for surgery. She gets very anxious about it and cries and begs me not to let them do it, even when she has Versed in her. But, this time, they had a new anesthesia team who hid the sleepy milk from her and gave it to her without her knowing. John said she drifted peacefully off to sleep with no crying.

I, on the other hand, got to take Jake to the pediatrician where I had to… you guessed it… hold Jake down while they did a strep test and nasal flu test. No escape from the screaming and crying and begging for me!

If Tanner’s counts are good at our two-week check, she’ll be able to return to school…. Hoping and praying.

Love,
Beth