Better Days

Things are looking brighter the last couple of days. After lying awake half the night on clinic day night worrying about the crazy amount of medicine that had put in my child in one day, and what the effects of that medicine would be, I woke to a very pleasant surprise… Tanner did not feel all that bad and… was pleasant. For the first time in months, she didn’t fight with me about getting ready for school… she actually smiled and said, “Okay, Mom.” Wow. Seems that anti-depressant works a lot faster than the doctors suspect.

After just three days on the anti-depressant, Tanner is a different child. John came downstairs on Friday night after putting her to bed and said with wonder, “She actually seems happy.” And right then we realized how much anxiety and fear and frustration and anger our poor child had been carrying around for quite some time. All the misbehavior (well, maybe not ALL of it) was really just misery. All the frantic, impulsive, over the top nuttiness was anxiety. I think her unhappiness happened so gradually, we just didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. It didn’t really look like unhappiness; it looked like combativeness. And, mercifully, it’s gone now, replaced with a peacefulness we haven’t seen in a long, long time.

Theoretically, it should only get better. She is on steroids and the extra chemo has set in and she doesn’t really feel all that great and even so, we see an improvement. Also, she is not even taking the full dose of the medicine; we will work our way up to that in a few weeks.

It makes me sad and happy at the same time. Sad to know how much all this has affected her and how heavy her burden has been. But, happy to know this is helping her regain her optimism and her true personality. It’s been a nice couple of days to hope for the best.

Then, today, another gift. Tanner auditioned last night for a part in Sleeping Beauty and today we found out she is going to be… wait for it… Sleeping Beauty (aka Briar Rose and Princess Aurora)!!!!! We couldn’t be prouder and she couldn’t be happier. We are so thankful to Act Too Players for believing in Tanner and giving her this chance. The play is in May… we’ll put out dates as soon as we know them.

Hope your weekend is as going as well as ours.

Love,
Beth

6 thoughts on “Better Days

  1. I was eating dinner with Lily and Sophie this past Tuesday evening, and Lily was so animated and light-hearted. It wasn’t anything that I could put my finger on – just noticeably more Lily. When I got home I told Ron that she seemed so much happier. I thought maybe it was because she was finally off treatment last Sunday. I mentioned it to Larisa, and she said that she and Steve both had noticed the difference and that it was probably a combination of the new anti-anxiety medicine she started last week and going OT. I hadn’t realized she’d started a new medicine. Anyway – apparently that anti-anxiety med works pretty quickly. I’ll be glad when both Lily and Sophie get to the point they no longer need it, though!

    Congratulations to Tanner for her leading role in Sleeping Beauty. I hope we can come see her in the play. She’s such a personable little girl, I know she’ll be great! And I’m so glad that Tanner is feeling better and happier.

  2. She is absolutely glowing in her picture. She definitely belongs on stage!!! Glad your precious girl is feeling a bit better!

  3. Yay! We LOVE Sleeping Beauty and have been wanting to see one of Tanner’s shows! Lyla is starting to show some interest in the stage (to go along with all the regular drama) and knows that Tanner sometimes sings and performs. We can’t wait to see it!!! (and we may do a weeklong camp at Act Too!)

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