A Whole Week

March 19, 2010

Tanner made it. A full week of school. It seems so surreal, but at the same time, so normal. Normal, normal, normal, normal… I love the sound of that word. I’ve kind of forgotten how to do normal. I had the opportunity to do cool things with Jake this week and couldn’t remember what to do. We did go to playgroup today for the first time in more than nine months. He got to play with a whole group of kids his own age… priceless.

Tanner’s teacher said she did great this week. She isn’t behind at all academically and she said she was astounded by Tanner’s stamina. When she gets tired, she lies down in a beanbag chair in the classroom for a rest, but has mostly seemed like any other energetic first grader. Many thanks to Mrs. Franklin for taking such good care of her this week and to Mrs. O’Hara for preparing her so well for returning to school. Because of her expert tutoring, Tanner has been able to keep up with her peers.

I’m so scared to really enjoy the moment, though. So afraid it won’t be long before she is disappointed again. Scared that the recent increase in chemo to 75% dosage might have tanked her counts and we’re sending her to school with no immune system. Scared Tanner is pushing herself too hard and will get fatigued and get sick. Scared, scared, scared. I hate living like that. It’s one of the not-so-great side effects of this journey.

Beth and I sat out on the deck today and ate lunch while watching the birds and the squirrels playing around the creek. So much nicer than looking at a fence. It’s peaceful here and that’s something I’m trying to remember to take time to enjoy.

Played in our old neighborhood today. Jake and I parked there and walked over to the school to pick Tanner up. We brought scooters and just stayed to play with our friends. It was good medicine for Tanner to see how easy it was to still play with Corinne. She has been so anxious about that.

More unpacking and curtain hanging on tap for the weekend. And rest for Tanner. Recover from this week and gear up for the next. I’m not so naïve as to think there won’t be bumps in the road, but I’m really hoping for a smooth ride for a little while. Tanner needs it.

Love,
Beth

6 thoughts on “A Whole Week

  1. At lunch the other day I sat at a distance and just watched Tanner at her lunch table surrounded by friends… smiling and visiting…….so normal. 🙂 It was a precious moment. I am so happy for your family to have this time of “normal” after so many long months. Love you guys and will continue to pray for you all. 🙂 Ms. O’Hara

  2. glenn and i were talking today about what a great week it’s been for tanner today while we were coming back from lowe’s. 🙂

    i know this normalcy is fragile, but just remember that you’re already prepared for most of what the dreaded lookeemia might toss at you; you know what to look for. so try to just enjoy this time, resolve to eat lunch in your backyard at least once a week, and enjoy your gorgeous new house. it is probably likely that there will be another bump or two in the road, but you can handle it. just take it one day at a time, enjoy each normal-like day, and hope for the best again for tomorrow, but expect an unwelcome surprise – when and if it comes, call me and i’ll help you climb that hurdle to the other side of another normal day. meanwhile, it’s just so wonderful that tanner had a whole entire week of school her first week back! that may just be the best tonic for her! <3

  3. We hope you have another great week of “normal”!
    We’ll be thinking of you unpacking and playing in your new house 🙂
    Take care,
    cab

  4. Whoo! Who! What a great week! How much fun! I am so excited and thankful for your wonderful, blessed week! We all love you and continue to pray for more wonderful “normal” weeks!

    Can’t wait to hear all about the fun things you and Jake are up to! Hope we get to see you soon!

    Love you much! 🙂 Jenny

Leave a Reply to Aunt Beth Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *