A Mixed Bag

August 31, 2011

First day of school!

I’m not gonna lie… it’s been a rough week. In some ways, Tanner is doing very well. She seems to be adapting to her new school beautifully and making lots of friends. I think she is feeling a little better, although last time we had counts, she was still anemic, so I don’t know if she will truly feel better until that improves.

Mentally, she’s struggling. I think she was a little disappointed that off treatment hasn’t initially looked much different than on treatment. We still had a clinic visit which didn’t seem a lot different except for not getting her IV chemo. She’s still taking a lot of meds, although those are starting to dwindle now. She is still limited by her immune system (which is improving, but still not normal by a long shot). And, I think she’s scared it will come back.

We’re not seeing Allison for therapy anymore. Tanner refuses to go to her, so there’s not much point in dragging her to something that is supposed to alleviate stress and anxiety! But, we’re meeting with a new therapist that will come to our house and meet with all of us to help us all begin to heal. I’m hopeful that this will help Tanner vent some of her stress in a productive way.

Tomorrow morning, Tanner is having surgery to remove her port (yay!). She is, in her words, exared. That means excited and scared at the same time. As you know, she does not like going under anesthesia, but she wants that port out very badly. I think it will be a real visual reminder that she is moving on. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30 am for an 8:30 am surgery. Should be home in the afternoon for a couple of days of R&R.

Jake started school this week… finally. He was very lonely the past couple of weeks with no one around to play with. He loves school and has had a great first two days.

Tanner and Jake are both playing soccer. Tanner is keeping up with the other girls better than we expected. She does get tired, but overall, is doing really well. And, next week, she starts rehearsals for Schoolhouse Rock Live.

So, life is good, but we’re still struggling to cope with post traumatic stress, if you will. Kind of a mixed bag.

Think about us tomorrow morning… hope she is able to let the excitement win over the scared.


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