I’m trying something… I created a photo album on Facebook and I think this link will allow you to look at the pictures whether you have a Facebook account or not. Let me know if it works!
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150194752809014.330293.89436949013&l=5d3a4a89e9
May 13, 2011
Here’s a link to the WTVF story about the therapy dog:
http://www.wtvf.com/story/14624910/special-dog-helps-children-fighting-cancer
She did a great job. We’re so proud of her.
Beth
May 11, 2011
Over the last couple of days, Jake has complained about his right leg hurting in his groin area. This morning he woke up and wouldn’t put any weight on it.
So, for the normal family, you would wonder if your child strained a muscle or maybe even had a hernia. For us, we wonder if he has leukemia… seriously.
The situation bore an eerie similarity to how Tanner came to be diagnosed with leukemia. She had recurring, come and go, back and leg pain, actually her right leg come to think of it.
This sparked a moment… well a few hours, if I’m being honest… of panic for John and I. I’m looking over him for bruises and petichae. I’m trying to figure out if he looks pale, taking his temperature, asking him endless questions about the little cough he had when he woke up. At one point, Jake said to me, “Why do you keep taking my temperature over and over, Mom.”
Needless to say, we went to our pediatrician, who is not only brilliant, but also a friend, and understood my terror right away. She offered to do bloodwork just to ease my mind, but we decided he had just pulled a groin muscle after examining him. But, she wanted us to get a hip x-ray just in case the joint had anything to do with the pain (did I mention she is brilliant?).
So, after picking up Tanner from early dismissal at school and stopping by the house for a few minutes, we went for said hip x-ray, which showed that the joint did indeed have everything to do with his pain. He has reactive synovitis, which is just a fancy way of saying he has some fluid build-up in his right hip joint. At this point, we believe the cause to be viral, which would probably explain why he has been so whiny for a week or so. He never had a fever or anything, but apparently, a virus can cause this kind of thing in about 3 percent of kids between 3 and 7 years of age, especially boys. We have a flair for the dramatic here at the Page house. We love to deal in long odds.
So, just ibuprofen for a week or so and keep an eye on him to be sure he doesn’t show signs of the fluid getting infected (fever, increasing pain). He’s doing fine, just walking with a little limp and crying out occasionally. Crazy, huh? That’s how we roll.
Tanner has been doing pretty well since her recent hospitalization. We had a week of hyperactivity due to some med changes, which was a little challenging, but we squeaked through with no major crises. She’s had a rough week at school; she’s still kind of agitated and emotional. We’re learning how to talk her down when she gets going so we don’t end up in a full-on meltdown. So far, it’s working. I think the next three months will be rocky.
God Bless Tanner’s teacher, Mrs. Sholar, and Moore Elementary for working so closely with us to help Tanner navigate school as well as possible during these times. They’ve also graciously agreed to let her stay there again next year, so we don’t have to worry about adapting to a new school and the end of treatment at the same time.
Tanner was the honorary guest at a very nice fashion show hosted by one of the Woman of the Year Candidates last weekend at Goodpasture Christian High School. The students were so sweet and had made a beautiful poster for her and some cards to bring home. She and a little friend she met there got to model on stage and they had such a good time. There were some really nice clothes and accessories for sale that were very reasonable and a portion of the proceeds went to LLS. Jan Dillard, the candidate, will be hosting another fashion show with the same clothing line at Richland Country Club on Thursday, May 19. If you want to come, you need to buy tickets by this Friday at https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=150807998320089.
I’m trying to post any MWOY events that I know about on the Friends of Tanner facebook page. I’m not soliciting donations for this event since you all are so generous to our Light the Night team in October. BUT, these folks are very resourceful and have put together some great events. So, if you see something you like, know the proceeds are going to a great cause and come on out!
Working a hat on the runway
Oh, and Tanner is going to be on the Channel 5 News tomorrow night at 10 pm for the story on Eli, the therapy dog that visits the oncology clinic. Eli is a Katrina survivor and has three legs and the kids love him. We’re so grateful to people like his owner and to my friend, Ashley, who brings Chili, her colossal golden doodle to clinic as well. They are a welcome distraction to the kids. You can watch a video teaser for the story here: https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=217136378313987&oid=250799749909&comments
Hoping to get through the next couple of weeks until Sleeping Beauty and the end of school without any more drama. Cross your fingers.
Love,
Beth
May 2, 2011
We’re home. Which is a wonderful thing and more than we had hoped for when we left here yesterday morning. The psych team believes that she is suffering from traumatic stress and that the past few weeks have been a little too much for her. In addition, they thought the aftereffects of the steroids could have played a role as well.
They didn’t think her antidepressant was to blame, in fact, they raised her dosage. She was on such a low dose and had gotten such good results initially that they felt they were helping.
It was reassuring to know they didn’t see any signs of mental illness; just too much stress for our little girl to take. The doctor said she believes that Tanner’s age group has the hardest time dealing emotionally with cancer treatment. Older kids are able to express themselves better and relieve some stress by venting and using coping strategies. Younger kids don’t really understand the seriousness of their treatment and are spared some of the fear of dying or of relapse. Tanner’s age group is old enough to understand, but not really old enough to express themselves and use coping strategies. Tanner, in particular, does not really talk about having leukemia or what stresses her. She just doesn’t.
Doing her best Transformer impersonation while getting an EKG
The next couple of days may still be a little bumpy, but I think we’re better prepared to deal with it until the increased dosage of antidepressant might help relieve some of the tension for her.
Thank you so much for all the love and support you sent our way; it truly buoyed us when we were drowning. And huge thanks to Beth, Kim and Ann, who went above and beyond, as always.
Love,
Beth
May 1, 2011
When Tanner was diagnosed with Leukemia, I thought it was going to be the most difficult day of my life. But, at least there was a concrete plan of how best to treat her. There were numbers and statistics and protocols based on years of research. And, I knew that nothing any of us had done caused it, and nothing we could have done would have prevented it.
Today is different; and in many ways, worse. Tanner is inpatient at Vanderbilt for a psych evaluation after two tough days that led us to the decision that she needed more help than we, or a visit to Allison, could provide. I don’t want to give a lot of details, because Tanner deserves some privacy as she struggles to deal with a disease that had me reduced to a day full of tears and xanax just last week. If it is more than I can bear sometimes, I think it is not unrealistic to expect that it is more than a 7-year-old can bear sometimes, too.
We are also concerned that her antidepressants could have backfired. Anti-depressants and kids are known to be tricky and the labels on her medicine warn that it can cause suicidal thoughts in children.
She has also had a very rough couple of weeks. I didn’t write about it, again to give her some space to deal with it without others knowing, but since she told her whole class about, I figure she wouldn’t mind. She began losing her hair again last month after her chemo. We were so blindsided; we had no idea that this could happen again. John found her crying on the slide at the playground and she told him that she had known for days that it was falling out, but thought we would think she was stupid for thinking that. Turns out, it happens sometimes. It seemed like an unimaginable cruelty to have it happen so close to the end for her. Like cancer was trying to get in it’s last licks. It stopped falling out after about two weeks and, although she is noticeably thin on top, she still has her hair and it has not happened again after this round of chemo. Still, it was incredibly difficult for her… for all of us, really.
Then, we had my colossal mistake… where I thought her LP a few weeks ago was the last one… only it wasn’t. I don’t think she can really get over thinking maybe I lied to her on purpose. I know I had a rough couple of days after that one and still haven’t really forgiven myself for it, but it is what it is and I can’t do anything to change it.
Then, this week, we sent Jake to my parents for some much needed special time. It’s hard being the “other kid;” the one who doesn’t have cancer. He needed that one on one attention from his grandparents, and I needed some time alone to regroup and reorganize. Unfortunately, in meeting our needs, I think we hurt Tanner. It was very clear to me during the week that she was so sad that she can’t go to her grandparents house alone for special time, and she knows it’s because of the leukemia. Balancing everyone’s needs in this case seemed precarious at best.
Allison believes that Tanner wanted to come to the hospital and did what it took to get herself here. She believes that Tanner’s world felt very out of control and that she feels safe here as an inpatient. I wouldn’t disagree with that, but I also think we could have a medicine issue as well. There is also a plethora of documented research linking traumatic stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder to kids who have cancer. I think Tanner definitely could fall into this category.
The psych team will come in the morning to evaluate her and, hopefully, we’ll know more then. This is, by far, one of the most tormenting things I have ever been through. To not feel like there will be a clear plan for how to deal with her issues. To feel like something we did, or didn’t do, could have exacerbated her problems. To know that we most certainly made some mistakes that may have hurt her. It is agonizing and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I know that I can count on you all not to share this information with your children, who might tell other kids at school that Tanner is having these kinds of problems. Children can be cruel, even unwittingly so, and I would die to know that this blog had caused her any more pain than she is already in. The only reason I share this information is 1) because I know people care about Tanner and want to know how she is doing, and 2) because I feel strongly that the only way to end this *&^%$ing disease is for people to know how awful it really is and be moved to give of themselves to help.
I’ll write more when I know more. We are, as usual, blessed by the wonderful people who come running to our aid when we need it, and do not need anything at this point.
Love,
Beth